A message from the Director

At KARE our mission is to end child abuse and neglect through advocacy, education and support. We offer programs that strengthen families by providing resources and tools parents and relative caregivers need in raising their children. We offer specific services to families that have experienced abuse situations, and we provide programs that prevent problems before they occur. In short, we meet families where they are.

As part of our effort to reach families, we publish a monthly article on parenting issues in The Mountaineer. Our most recent article can be viewed below. We hope that you will find this information useful and thought provoking. If you would like more information on this topic or have questions about other parenting issues, please contact us @ 456-8995.

Thank you for your interest in KARE.

Yours in service to our children,

Theresa Morgan

Teens- Love and limits

If you have a teen in your life you have probably done your share of worrying. The teenage years are a time of transition for both the teen and their parents. The reality is not only do teens need their parents help and guidance but they want it as well. The common thread among teens that do well academically, socially and stay healthy and drug free is they have a close relationship with their parents. Teens feel connected when parents show an interest in them, in what they do and in who they know.

Teenagers are experiencing mental, emotional and physical changes during this period. A teen’s physical growth during this time is more rapid than at any time since infancy. The same hormones that are causing this rapid maturation and growth also create unpredictable changes in their emotions. One day your teen may feel wonderful and the next be irritable, angry or sad. Teens cognitive or thought processes change from concrete reality to more abstract giving them the ability to fantasize, speculate and think more like an adult. Some children experience these changes as early as 9 years old while others may be 13 or older. This time of transition may sometimes be chaotic for parents and their teen.

Yet, despite the negative things we may hear or read about parenting teens 80 percent of teens never present serious problems to their families or get into real trouble. A report in American Academy of Pediatrics stated that rural and suburban teens are more likely to have problems with alcohol or illicit drugs than urban youth. Also, regardless of parental warnings, 30 percent of students report that they have ridden one or more times in the last month with a driver who had been drinking. Risks today are real and different for every teen.

Here are some ways to foster a closer relationship with your teen according to the American Academy of Pediatrics:

• Spend time together regularly doing something your teen enjoys.

• Talk openly and honestly using positive communication skills, especially when there is a conflict. For example, think before you speak and acknowledge your teen’s point of view so he or she knows you are listening.

• Plan and eat meals together as a family.

• Know your teen’s friends.

• Show genuine curiosity in your teen’s favorite interest or hobbies.

• Focus on setting rules for safety with emphasis on providing guidance and consequences rather than using power and/or issuing punishment.

• Be flexible when appropriate and allow your teens to weigh in on some of the rules and consequences but you maintain the final say. Teens can learn from their mistakes while they are still under your guidance.

• Be specific when it comes to rules about substance abuse. Tell your teen they are not permitted to use tobacco, alcohol or illicit drugs (including abuse of over the counter or prescription drugs).

• Be firm, follow through and be consistent in applying the consequences. Choose a consequence that fits when a rule is broken.

• Acknowledge the positive qualities and behaviors of your teenager and praise them as much as you did when they were preschoolers…Catch them being good! Tell them you love them!

Finally, remember teens want and expect their parents to play a key role in their lives. They do appreciate you! They do listen and hear you even when you don’t think they do. They will remember your advice even when it seems like they are not paying attention. They do love you! Most of all they will know that you love them because you took the time and made the effort!

If you would like more information about this or other parenting topics, call KARE at 456-8995, ext. 203.